SlimChews™ Review: Revolutionary Weight Loss? Really?
The first I heard about SlimChews™ was the other morning a when a piece of unsolicited bulk e-mail (aka “spam”) showed up in my mailbox (if you’ve received SlimChews™ spam, contact us and let us know!). I used the tracking software at eMailTrackerPro to try to determine the exact source of the mailing.
Apparently it originated in or around Ontario, California. It was not misdirected, and was routed through the e-mail address [email protected] (information that is easily faked, so should be treated as conclusive).
Why the interest in determining the source of the mailing?
Because marketing via unsolicited bulk e-mail is illegal. If I can determine the source of the mailing I can determine whether the mailing was instigated by…
- The retailers of this product.
- An affiliate of this product, who earns commissions on referred sales.
- A contracted third party whose job it is to send out mailings like this and disguise the source.
Unfortunately, I cannot conclusively determine who sent this e-mail. At the worst, it is the retailer doing the mailings—which would be a severe blow to the credibility of any of their claims, and an insight into their business ethics. At the best, it is an affiliate who has sent this spam, and the company needs to take drastic action to ensure such mailings no longer occur.
With that said, what are SlimChews™?
Apparently, they are a sugar-free delicious, berry-flavored chew that…
- Control overeating
- Boost energy
- Burn fat
- Provide proven weight loss
Of course, in addition to these claims, you’ll also find the obligatory references to fact that the product is “scientifically tested” and “proven” effective, although no actual proof is offered to qualify this statement. Nor is the term “scientifically tested” actually defined. What this means in practical terms is a mystery to me.
What are the ingredients in SlimChews™? There are two…
1. Hoodia gordonii: One of the most hyped ingredients on the internet, Hoodia is a South African succulent (a plant of the cactus family) that apparently suppresses appetite, thanks to the miraculous P57 molecule.
There are two problems with the Hoodia claims; first, there are no independently verified, peer-reviewed published studies that show it does anything of the sort, and two; Hoodia is an endangered species and takes a long time to cultivate. It is likely therefore, that most Hoodia products on the market do not contain any Hoodia at all.
For more information on Hoodia, please read the full review here!
2. Brazilian Cha De Bugre: Described as a excellent weight loss aid and diuretic, there is exactly zero scientific evidence that this ingredient has any positive effects on weight loss. See the Cha de Bugre review for (a few) more details.
There’s one other deal-killer with SlimChews™…
The only way to try the product is to sign up for the “$1 Trial”—a recurring billing program that will charge you $43.95 for the “trial” packet (if you don’t cancel the trial and return the unused portion within 15 days from the date your product is shipped) and afterwards, continue to send you fresh product bill you accordingly each and every month.
Here’s the exact policy, from the web site…
“Try SlimChews risk free for only $1! When you order the $1 trial of SlimChews, your credit card will be charged only $1 for a 1-month supply of SlimChews plus $4.95 shipping and handling for a total of $5.95. You will have 15 days from the date your product is shipped to decide if SlimChews are right for you. If you are enjoying SlimChews, do nothing and at the end of your 15-day trial period you will be charged the discounted rate of only $43.95 for the pouch you received. If you find SlimChews are not right for you, simply call customer service and return the unused portion before the 15th day of your trial and you will not be charged.”
If you’re a regular visitor to UltimateFatBurner.com, you’ll know we are really, really, really not big fans of the practice of recurring billing, and especially of companies that go to great lengths to add customers to such programs without their explicit approval (check out this video for detailed information on the “free trial” scam).
This program is even worse than usual—unlike other trial offers that simply require cancellation—the SlimChews trial requires you return the unused portion. That has to be done within the 15 day trial period. And that trial starts the day your product is shipped, something you may or not be able to determine. Depending how long your product is “in transit”, you may need to return the product as soon as you get it—especially if the company expects to receive the product back before the end of the trial period. After all, the Terms and Conditions says…
“… simply call customer service and return the unused portion before the 15th day of your trial and you will not be charged.”
This washy language leaves the policy open to interpretation by the retailer. Do you simply need to cancel within the 15 day period? Or, as I just indicated, do they need to receive the product back within the 15 day period? Who knows?
The long and the short of it is that this program is set up to rope customers into a recurring billing program by making it extremely difficult for anyone to cancel in accordance to the program policies. Although I haven’t yet received any feedback on this company’s billing policy, there is really no good reason to market any product in such a fashion.
Couple this program with a product that contains two ingredients for which little real evidence of weight loss effectiveness exists, and you’ve got a product you shouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
