The Spizz Doctors

Posted By elissa on May 29, 2010 | 4 comments

I was spending a few idle moments, catching up on the news and checking out some of my favorite blogs, when I came across this post, over on Respectful Insolence.

The Pause That Refreshes These Doctors

…Let’s go to the tape (not to mention some rather amusing commentary by Gawker).

Just when I thought The Doctors couldn’t get any worse, damn if they don’t go and prove me wrong! Yes, that’s The Doctors apparently drinking urine. Even if that’s not urine (it doesn’t quite look the right color, even for highly concentrated urine) and they’re just making it look as though they’re drinking urine, it’s a cheap stunt. Personally, I’d have preferred it if it were real urine they were dabbing on their skin.

Drinking urine? On television?? WTF???  I had to click on the Gawker link above… Let’s just say that – after watching the vid – I can understand Orac’s contempt. I guess I’m glad that the docs in question weren’t actually advocating drinking your own urine for health (or taking it too seriously) but they weren’t completely dismissive of it, either.

Pity, really – because after doing some poking around online, it’s obvious that this is crackpottery at its finest. I’ve been looking at health fraud and whackaloonery on and off for years, but I obviously missed this one.  According to the “Skeptic’s Dictionary”:

Many advocates claim that urine is a panacea. There is practically nothing it won’t cure. Urine is said to be effective against the flu, the common cold, broken bones, toothache, dry skin, psoriasis and all other skin problems. It is said to deter aging and is helpful with AIDS, allergies,  animal  and snake bites,  asthma, heart disease, hypertension, burns, cancer, chemical intoxication, chicken pox, enteritis, constipation, and pneumonia. Urine is said to be effective against dysentery, edema, eczema, eye irritation, fatigue, fever, gonorrhea, gout, bloody urine, smallpox, immunological disorders, infections, infertility, baldness, insomnia, jaundice, hepatitis, Kaposi’s sarcoma, leprosy, lymphatic disorder,  urticaria, morning sickness, hangover, obesity, papilloma virus,  parasitoses, gastric ulcer,  rheumatism, birthmarks, stroke, congestion, lumbago, typhus, gastritis, depression, cold sore, tuberculosis, tetanus, Parkinson’s disease, foot fungus, and diabetes and other endocrine related diseases. Some enthusiasts see urine therapy as a divine manifestation of cosmic intelligence. They use urine to unleash their kundalini, sending it straight into the third eye, bringing instant enlightenment.*

With such wondrous properties, it is amazing that science bothered developing medicine when it had the key to good health already in the bottle, so to speak. Each of us is a walking pharmacopoeia. Homer Smith (Man and His Gods) once wrote that “man is a machine for turning wine into urine.” Little did he know that man is a machine for turning just about anything into a medicinal tonic. According to urninophiles, the medical establishment has conspired to keep us ignorant of the wonder drug we all carry in our bladders.

Lest you think the reviewer here is exaggerating for rhetorical effect… take a gander at these golden drops of wisdom (sorry!):

Urine is considered to be an invaluable source of nourishment and healing that perhaps has been too controversial or not financially rewarding enough for it to be talked about and encouraged as a potent medicine. One’s own urine, a living food, contains elements that are specific to one’s body alone. The body is constantly producing a huge variety of antibodies, hormones, enzymes and other natural chemicals to regulate and control its functions and combat imbalances that one may not be aware of.

…Don’t take this therapy lightly. Multiple sclerosis, colitis, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, cancer, hepatitis, hyperactivity, pancreatic insufficiency, psoriasis, eczema, diabetes, herpes, mononucleosis, adrenal failure, allergies and so many other ailments have been relieved through use of this therapy. After you overcome your initial gag response (I know I had one), you will realize that something big is going on, and if you are searching for health, this is an area to investigate. There are numerous reports and double blind studies which go back to the turn of the century supporting the efficacy of using urine for health. 

I’d love to see those “double blind studies.” You won’t be surprised to learn that I found next to nothing in PubMed.

Nonetheless, there are more than a few sites pushing this… feel free to Google “urine therapy,” and you’ll see what I mean. There are even entire books written on the subject.  I came across this gem over at Amazon.com, for example, as well as other titles (scroll down).

Unbelievable. 🙁

Sorry if I’m grossing you out… but I find stuff like this fascinating, in a sort of “I can’t believe there are people dumb enough to (literally) swallow this” way.  But I guess it really does take all kinds to make a world.