So Close, and Yet So Far Away…

Posted By elissa on May 16, 2009 | 3 comments

 Ah, Martica, Martica, Martica…

There are times when I think that maybe I pick on Martica Heaner a little too much: after all, she gives out lots of sensible advice, too.  My problem with her, however, is that even the sensible stuff is conventional and unimaginative…  She writes well enough, but her “Expert Advice” column sometimes reads like she’s just phoning it in.  This is true for a lot of “experts” I suppose, but her high-profile gig at MSN.com sorta makes her a target.  When people write in, looking for guidance – and then don’t get the care and attention they deserve – it kinda sets me off.

Today’s featured column is a perfect example.  Here’s the question:

Q: I try to avoid all junk food and eat “clean.” But the more I ban bad foods from my diet, the more I seem to want them.

Now Martica does an ok job with this, at first…she explains what “clean” eating means; then discusses the possibility that the questioner might not be eating sufficient calories.  But her preferred explanation is what she calls the “I-want-what-I-can’t-have compulsion”, and suggests the questioner needs to a) not be so rigid about her/his eating; and/or b) work on retraining her/his tastes for “clean” vs. junk foods.

Now, there’s nothing particularly wrong with either of these answers – they’re just fine, as far as they go.  But she misses what I think is the Number One Problem that wanna-be healthy eaters create for themselves when trying to eat “clean”.

In a nutshell, they equate “clean” with “booooorrrrrring”.

Seriously:  I’ve reviewed a TON of “clean” diets over on the forums I mod, and the menus look like stuff served to prisoners or hospital patients: plain, pasty oatmeal; dry, water-packed tuna; plain steamed vegetables; baked chicken breasts; boiled brown rice, nonfat cottage cheese…well, you get the picture. 🙁  Needless to state, this sort of food makes meal time the culinary equivalent of walking for an hour on the treadmill, day-in and day-out.  It’s no wonder folks give in to cravings…they’re dying for some sensory stimulation. 

Martica comes close to figuring out the problem when she acknowledges:

“What makes junk foods so attractive is often their sweet or salty fat content. Humans are hardwired to be attracted to calorie sources such as these.  But you may be able to develop an appreciation for other aspects of foods, and to turn off the appeal of bad-for-you foods.”

In other words, she grasps that “junk food = interesting”.  But then she punts the ball by reinforcing the “clean = booooorrrrrring” assumption, rather than challenging it.

If you can master the art of appreciating nuanced aspects of healthful foods and learning more about the distasteful aspects of so-so foods, then you may get as excited over an arugula salad topped with tart lemon juice as someone else might get over a cheeseburger.  

S’cuse me???  She has GOT to be yanking us on that one.

In my humble opinion, it would take a saint to develop an appreciation for “an arugula salad topped with tart lemon juice”…that’s about as appealing as chowing down on the weeds in my flowerbed.   It’s certainly no match for a cheeseburger – even I can’t stretch my imagination that far.  Needless to state, trying to pretend that “booooorrrrrring” = “interesting”, is NOT the best way to go about resisting cheeseburgers…or any other greasy, junky foods, for that matter.

The better path is to make eating “clean” as interesting – in its own way – as eating  junk.  For example, I’d happily trade that cheeseburger for an arugula salad…topped with marinated grilled chicken, a sprinkle each of bleu cheese, dried cranberries and toasted walnuts – plus a light, tangy raspberry vinaigrette and freshly ground pepper.

The key for beating junk food cravings while eating “clean” is to “dress up” healthy foods, so they provide a range of interesting, more complex flavors and textures – like my arugula salad does.  Contrary to the usual assumption, “clean” can equal “interesting”.

Now, this does mean having (or developing) some rudimentary cooking skills, and doing some advance preparation.  Let’s face it, part of the appeal of junk food is also that it’s easy to grab.  The time to create a healthy meal is NOT when your stomach is growling.  The way I solve this problem is to cook in bulk and put the ingredients for my faves on my shopping list – so everything’s good to go, right when I want it.  If I have a pile of marinated, pre-cooked chicken breasts and other, ready-to-use ingredients in the fridge (such as bagged greens, grape tomatoes, bleu cheese crumbles, etc.), then that salad can be ready in 5 minutes.  This is true for other healthy meals too.  Lord knows there are tons of recipes on the internet for dishes that are scrumptious as well as nutritious.  With the aid of marinades, herbs, spices…and a little creativity, you’ll never miss the junk.

So let’s leave appreciating the nuances of arugula with lemon juice to Martica…the point here is to come up with “clean” foods/dishes that you truly do love, vs. trying to force yourself to appreciate stuff that you don’t – and probably never will.  Sure, there will be some trial and error involved (not to mention a few junk food slips), but if you work at it, eventually you’ll get there.