Old Gimmicks Never Die…
I was idly surfing around the web today, and came across a pic of an old, 1920’s ad for a bogus weight loss product: La-Mar’s Reducing Soap. Here’s the spiel:
The new discovery. Results quick and amazing – nothing internal to take. Reduce any part of the body desired without affecting other parts. No dieting or exercising. Be as slim as you wish. Acts like magic in reducing double chin, abdomen, ungainly ankles, unbecoming wrists, arms and shoulders, large breasts or any superfluous fat on body. Sold on a money-back guarantee by Geo. B. Evans and Jacob Bros., and all good drug and department stores, or direct to you by prepaid parcel post if your dealer cannot supply you. Price 50c a cake or three cakes for $1.00; one to three cakes usually its purpose. You’ll be surprised at results.
LA-MAR LABORATORIES
431 Beckman Building, Cleveland, Ohio
Ok, the language is a bit stilted, and the priorities have obviously changed… I can’t, for example, imagine anyone stressing over “unbecoming wrists” or “ungainly ankles” these days – but otherwise it’s pretty damn similar to the ads for various weight loss products sold today. There’s the promise of quick and painless results, no dieting or exercise, and the so-called “money-back guarantee.” Typical.
Still, I was prepared to laugh at it… after all, who – in this more sophisticated day and age – would fall for a gimmick like this? I mean, c’mon… weight loss soap? You’d have to be pretty thick to believe THAT one.
Right?
But just for the hell of it, I figured I’d look around to see if I could find any modern counterparts. Surprise! I found…
- Super Seaweed Soap: “The healing and slimming property of seaweed has been used for over 400 years in China. The soap provides natural skin care and the unique qualities that have made it so popular are its Defating agents which penetrate to fat cells to assist in the reduction of them….Given some time (within 3 bars), you will be surprised to find that your body has become slender and fit by the use of this product. It makes your weight control simple, convenient and relaxed.”
- Aoqili Diet Soap: “AOQILI is a unique soap made from the elixirs of undersea plants, including rare seaweed.The record of the healing and slimming property of seaweed has existed for over 400 years in the East. The soap not only provides natural skin care in bath,but the unique qualities are its defeating agents which penetrate to the subcutaneous layer to assist in the elimination of fat layers…Given some time, you will be surprised to find that your body has become slender and you skin more tender…It makes you weight control simple, convenient,and relaxed.This product has been widely reported in the US media and programs such as Prime Time, A Current Affair,and Hard Copy.”
- Amazing Soap: “Wouldn’t it be great if you could wash unwanted bodyfat down the drain during your morning shower? …Our amazing Weight Loss soap is packed with vitamins and the special, highly effective ingredient – seaweed…The Weight Loss Soap is specially formulated to penetrate the pours of the skin by osmosis, resulting in the loss of stored body fat directly below the skin in the subcutaneous tissue…Seaweed soap has been all the rage in China and Japan where users report major inch loss in a matter of a few months. In fact, many seaweed soap users notice visible improvements in as little as 4 to 5 weeks!”
- Zona Natural Seaweed Scrub: “The unique and natural formula of the seaweed soap helps reduce body fat, improve skin condition and helps eliminate cellulite while the hemp pouch provides intense scrubbing action.”
- Seaweed Slimming Soap: “This seaweed slimming soap is my little secret and I’m happy to share it with others who would like to meltdown those unwanted fat deposits – easily! …Seaweed soap’s high mineral content “flushes” away fatty deposits under the skin which made me lose an additional ½” in my waistline in just 7 days! Unbelievable! I was so thrilled and still am!”
Unbelievable!
Sigh… I guess the more things change, the more they stay the same. Old gimmicks never die, they just get recycled and updated for a new audience.
