“5 Weight Loss Tips for Cynical Bastards”
Suffice it to say, I don’t read “Cracked” for information… it’s strictly for laffs. But lo and behold, a January article, “5 Weight Loss Tips for Cynical Bastards” is actually pretty darned informative. In fact, I’d rate it higher than most mass market weight loss articles.
This isn’t to say that it’s not funny… it is (I practically fell off my chair laughing at the cake pic on page 2). But it’s also one of the most realistic popular articles on the topic that I’ve seen in a long time.
A taste:
If you didn’t realize it already, you should know that society really, really wants you to be fat. You just have to recognize that right away.
The worst thing Hollywood has ever done to fat people is portray the obese as constantly eating at every single moment. When Friends would flash back to Monica’s fat days, the big joke was she always had a huge, sloppy sandwich or chicken leg in her hand. The crime here isn’t that it makes fat people look like mindless gluttons, but that it sends the message that you only get fat if you eat huge comedy prop food, all day, every day.
What you find out from a program like Weight Watchers (where you are kept on a strict daily point system) is that you can get sitcom-joke fat purely by eating three meals a day of the kind of portions portrayed as normal in TV commercials and on restaurant menus.
…You can’t fight the math — the calories I had been eating were getting stored instead of burned. But the kind of portions that will let me lose weight at a slow and healthy rate are so small that people always have to comment on it, and get that “anorexia concern” look on their face. Like me, they’ve been trained to think of way too much food as the norm.
Read the whole thing. It’s soooo true.
